Natalie Bell

Professor Miller

English 110

18 February 2025

The Impact of Technology on Our Lives

In today’s world, our phones, social media, as well as networks are intertwined into our daily lives. Many believe that we rely on technology daily, just like the air we breathe. In The Empathy Diaries by Sherry Turkle, who is a professor at Massachusetts Institute of Technology and specializes in how technology influences relationships and communications with people, forces many people to confront their own truth because, despite its complexities, technology has evolved from a simple tool used every now and then, to now a vital lifeline of many lives. She unravels how much of a grasp technology has on us, as well as the demand of how we need to get around, and become one with technology, to find the perfect balance between human connection and convenience. The following then causes people to shape their own connections with others and even shape their very own identities and survival. This new digital era has not only altered the main ways of communication but has also changed the way people now view relationships and how people see themselves. This has since raised many important questions about who we really are, what emotional intimacy is, and what it means to truly connect with one another.

            Having in person conversations face to face is the ideal way to truly connect with one another, but technology often gets in the way. Carrying technology on your person all the time can be very distracting, even when there is a brief pause within conversation, or even a stop while driving, this often leads to reaching for the phone. Sherry Turkle touches upon this subject throughout her whole book. She believes that “technology disrupts this virtuous cycle” (348) of conversation with one another due to the hold technology has on people nowadays. People do not feel like themselves without having technology because of the dependency they have built on them, and as a result, the quality of connections are suffering. Face to face communication becomes harder to maintain without reaching for a phone, and it has been very noticeable throughout many conversations I have witnessed. The shift with technology does not only impact the way others are able to relate to each other, but it also gets rid of the sense of self since people are always influenced by the world of technology instead of engaging with others who are physically with or around them. She begins to explain a research experiment where people were asked for fifteen minutes, to sit down quietly without a phone or book, to see what they would do. They were also asked at the beginning if they “would consider administering electroshocks to themselves if they became bored” (348), and although many said no, and even said that they would not do it no matter what, “after just six minutes alone, a good number of them were doing just that” (348). While analyzing these results, it is clear how dependent people are with their technology, and even when they got bored, they would prefer to just shock themselves instead of waiting for the time to be up. This shows how many people today are so accustomed to always having technology within reach that they do not know how to deal with themselves or function without it even if it is just for fifteen minutes.

It has been proven and shown that people tend to engage more in genuine, open conversations when their phones are out of reach, and out of sight. When this occurs, it allows more genuine interactions to occur, which in turn, helps them build deeper relationships, as well as strengthening their connections with one another. Without the constant distraction of a phone or even technology, people have the skills to fully immerse themselves in the conversation, and not just speak, but also listen. The feeling of needing to always check notifications on their phones distracts them from being fully involved within the conversation they are having. She believes that people are “being silenced by our technologies” (347), and because of this, it is like we are “cured of talking” (347). She explains that the devices everyone uses everyday are limiting and hurting face-to-face conversations. While also clarifies how people are cured of talking because technology supports quick ways of communication and does not offer deeper and more valuable conversations. It is implied that technology does not just change how people communicate, but our ability to participate in sincere conversation with one another, which further results in a kind of social isolation from the world, even though it has been said many times that we are more connected than ever. However, Turkle also brings up many points that if we work with technology, and our evolution with it, then it could help how we connect on a more genuine level. If we have the ability to “redesign technology and change how we bring it into our lives” (346) then we are equipped to redefine our values that will drive our interactions with technology, as well as creating more sustainable relationships with each other.

Being present within conversations has been proven to help build deeper and more meaning relationships with someone rather than just being in contact over the phone. In person, you are able to see their facial expressions, as well as hear the tone in their voice, and be able to understand what they mean fully instead of guessing or interpreting what they say wrong. People who believe that they do not always need their phone to be able to go out somewhere, and to be able to communicate is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself and others. It is understood that being fully present within an exchange means you are talking but also listening to what the other person is saying. Turkle explains how conversation cannot happen without three things, “pauses, hesitations, associations” (347) which are “the things that are said through silence” (347). Silence occurring while conversing shows that the other person is interpreting what the other person said and is coming up with a response in their head, or they are digesting the information they just received. Conversation is not always through words but can happen especially during silence with others. Although maybe the conversation feels a little tense or awkward, that’s also a way of communication since you cannot just turn your phone off, you must break the tension and awkwardness. When people exclaim how they “prefer to ‘talk’ by editing a text on their smartphones” (347), it is in the essence of them having a “desire for distraction, comfort, and efficiency” (347).

To conclude the overall message Sherry Turkle was trying to relay within her writing was depicting the powerful ways that technology has reshaped and transformed human connection and relationships. As technology continues to develop it has been proven that is a crucial and vital part of everybody’s lives in today’s age, but it has started to become a barrier to starting genuine connections. As a consequence of technology constantly being in the presence of everyday lives it has diminished the overall quality of interactions face-to-face which leads to more social isolation with others and detachment from situations with others. While reading Turkle’s work and analyzing the other meanings of it, she also suggests how we can change how we introduce technology into our lives, and how we use it. If it gets changed on how we integrate it into our lives, we will be able to change the value of meaningful conversations and fix authentic relations with each other. In the end, technology is redefining our relationships everyday with how it is used, and there needs to be a change of how we use it to build and maintain more deeper connections with others as well as ourselves.